The Milkshake Experiment: Does It Really Bring Boys to the Yard?

Yes, dear readers, it is time I get back into blogging and tell you about my ground-breaking science experiment. There is an age-old saying by the renowned Kelis that goes:

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. And, damn right, it's better than yours." (Imagine that as a dramatic reading and you're set for the day.)

This claim has been taken for granted for so long that I figured it was time someone tested it. So, I designed an experiment:

NO. 

Research Question: Do milkshakes have the unearthly power to attract various types of boys to yards?

Hypothesis: Yes. Yes they do. Kelis says so.

Method: Make milkshake. Put in yard. Document amount of boys that visit said yard. Perhaps boys will ask owner of milkshake on a date. Remain hopeful.

Oh, hush. 

And, so, the experiment began. The documenting went as follows:

Day 1 - Milkshake in yard. So far, no boys. Remaining hopeful.

Day 5 - Replaced milkshake in yard with another because previous milkshake congealed. Documented signs of squirrel activity in the area. Whether they were male squirrels is unknown. Still no boys. Remaining hopeful.

Day 15 - Milkshake has turned sickening green color. No signs of life. Suspicion that boys may be avoiding yard.

Day 30 - Received call from the EPA. Was told to burn milkshake. Replaced it with new one. Still no boys - remaining hopeful.

Day 67 - ... Boy spotted.

HAH. Suck it. 

Okay, readers, let's be honest with each other. Yes, I did design an experiment. No, I did not put a milkshake in a yard (due to my complete lack of yard, as I live in NYC.) Also, I did not document the progress of said imaginary milkshake for 67 days. 

But, that last bit? Day 67? I entered a relationship with someone whose face I kind of like...

So, what has this experiment taught us? 

 

...Close enough. 

I'M BACK! And I got photoshop again! But my drawing tablet stopped working...So a lot of this was done on a Mac trackpad. BE PROUD.

<3